Sometimes, those in a relationship that is falling apart can feel like there is little to no hope. Counseling can provide that hope. Let me repeat that: There is hope. In fact, I believe that you have chosen each other for very deep reasons that should not be forgotten. Relationships are a challenge for almost everyone so taking the step to obtain counseling is a very positive indication that there is something there. It may feel like a “last ditch effort,” but, with effort, a lot of progress can be made. How? When there is hurt, sadness, anger, misunderstanding, disrespect, my primary approach uses a specialized language method (called Symbolic Modeling) to validate your experiences, orient you and your partner’s perspective and patterns, and facilitate growth.
I have 100 plus tools that you can utilize.
These tools include exercises you can complete, skills you can learn, and assessments you can take to discover what is going on and how this compares to others.
These tools include ways to:
Learn how to:
Integrate evidence-based (scientifically supported) approaches to help partners feel more understood and closer:
Because struggling couples often do not spend enough time together and struggle with communicating, each session is 75-minutes. Many therapists utilize 60-minute sessions, which, for couples, often mean that they just start to work on something when they must stop.
Could your symptoms of anxiety or depression or even anger, ADD (inattention), ADHD (hyperactivity), a bipolar or manic-depression, obsessive-compulsive behavior, panic, relationship (e.g., attachment problems), or sleep problems be the result of high-stress or even traumatic events?Could your symptoms of anxiety or depression or even anger, ADD (inattention), ADHD (hyperactivity), a bipolar or manic-depression, obsessive-compulsive behavior, panic, relationship (e.g., attachment problems), or sleep problems be the result of high-stress or even traumatic events?
Have you experienced, as an adult, adolescent, or child, emotional abuse, physical assault, sexual attack, school, workplace, or community bullying or violence, a car accident, medical trauma, a natural disaster? Trauma does not always result in Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), but those wounds can still impact your life yet can be healed, too!
Treatment begins with facilitating the patient’s familiarity with their internal representations of their experience so that they can discover new ways of perceiving themselves and each other so that they can heal their suffering. Complicated wounding, such as those that are repeated and highly intense, happened long ago, such as in childhood, or cause significant “spacing out” or perception of a loss of time, there are several methods that can facilitate a sense of inner stability. “These include Dialectical Behavior Therapy skills training to increase one’s ability to tolerate distress, regulate emotions, and be effective interpersonally, and Seeking Safety, which was created by a Harvard professor and has strong research evidence in helping to prepare one for healing from trauma.
”Once a person feels internally empowered, we may choose to process the trauma, using one or more of methods. In addition to Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) (https://emdria.site-ym.com/?120), which is an evidenced-based method to complete processing of disturbing adverse experience and most effective with recent, one-time significantly negative event; HMR (http://www.healingdimensions.com/about/HMRDescription.htm), a body-mind technique that allows resolution of painful memories and emotions without reliving the event as the patient being the “healer;” Somatic Trauma Resolution (https://youtu.be/nmJDkzDMllc), a mind-body approach that is intended to release the “shock” that becomes “stuck” in our body and mind.
Because dissociation can be the brain’s way of handling very stressful experiences, it can be placed on a spectrum or continuum going from “day dreaming” or “spacing out” to being significantly split-off parts of ourselves, functioning almost as a different person. The goal at the end of the treatment process is to “integrate” those split off aspects if needed.
Of course, we have experience working with ADD, AD/HD, anger, anxiety, mood disorders, obessive-compulsive symptoms, oppositional-defiant behaviors, panic, and relationship problems.
Teenagers are in a unique position of still needing their parents yet spend most of their time around their peers. They can be more moody and distant so it can be difficult to know what is going on inside of them. Some stay up late doing homework but others are up texting or playing video games. There are those who sleep a lot on the weekend while others never seem to rest. Some of them want to drive so they are even more independent. Are they following laws and the family’s rules? Others do not seem interested in driving. Most are curious about dating whether that is with the opposite gender or with the same one. A few do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. Some wonder about marijuana, harder drugs, and alcohol. Many seem to hate school. While most are obtaining good or average grades, there are others who cannot or refuse to do and turn in their homework. They wonder why they should do all this “boring” work. It seems “stupid” to them. Chores, like cleaning their room or taking out the trash seem like a battle. Some want to work while others do not want to take the time to gain employment if the parent approves of it. Meanwhile, with all of this, you, as their parent or guardian want them to be prepared to transition to adulthood.
Some of these issues are typical and temporary. Others are more long-standing and impact their relationship to their parents, their grades, or their job. Inattention, distraction, and hyperactivity may worsen as a child advances through school or may resolve itself in their teens. There are a lot of stresses, like dating break-ups and bullying, that children and teens are not ready to manage. Some worry or are easily panicked. There are mood problems that seem to be worsening. Others are oppositional. Most concerning are those who want to commit suicide.
Once again, treatment usually starts with facilitating the child’s, teen’s, and/or parents’ familiarity with their internal representations of their experience so that they can discover new ways of perceiving themselves and each other so that they can transform their lives using a method called Symbolic Modeling. At times, those involved benefit from assessments of their concerns as well as skill development so that they can manage their emotions and change their behavior. Depending on the issue, therapy may be primarily individual or may involve the parent or family. Behavioral Therapy and skill building may be helpful for the teen or to assist the parenting process. These techniques are gleaned from a wide variety of sources, such as Love and Logic Parenting, the Nurturing Program, Parent Management Training, and Choice Theory/Reality Therapy.
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